The Best Bridget Jones Quotes
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Here is a selection of my favourite quotes from the first Bridget Jones book: Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding.
Helen Fielding is the author of the legendary Bridget Jones book series, which has sold millions of copies around the world.
The first book, Bridget Jones’s Diary, was first published in 1996 and adapted into a highly successful movie starring Renée Zellweger. Fielding later wrote an additional 3 books, with the last being penned in 2016. The fourth movie in the Bridget Jones series, Mad About the Boy, was released in 2025.
Although some parts of the Bridget Jones books haven’t aged well, and Bridget certainly isn’t a role model with her fixation on dieting and calories, the books remain relatable to a whole new generation. 2024 reportedly saw sales of Bridget Jones’s diary rise by 22%, selling 2000 copies despite first being published more than 20 years ago.
Here are some of the best quotes from Helen Fielding’s iconic series.
Synopsis:
“Welcome to Bridget's first diary: mercilessly funny, endlessly touching and utterly addictive.
A dazzlingly urban satire on modern relationships?
An ironic, tragic insight into the demise of the nuclear family?
Or the confused ramblings of a pissed thirty-something?
As Bridget documents her struggles through the social minefield of her thirties and tries to weigh up the eternal question (Daniel Cleaver or Mark Darcy?), she turns for support to four indispensable friends: Shazzer, Jude, Tom and a bottle of chardonnay.”
Quotes From Bridget Jones’s Diary
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.“
“Work — once merely an annoying nuisance — has become an agonizing torture“
“I will not fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomanics, chauvists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts.”
“That is such crap. How dare you be so fraudulently flirtatious, cowardly and dysfunctional? I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye.“
“The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem. It's the three-minute culture. It's a global attention-span deficit.”
“I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen”
“But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.”
“Oh, God, I'm so lonely. An entire weekend stretching ahead with no one to love or have fun with. Anyway, I don't care. I've got a lovely steamed ginger pudding from M&S to put in the microwave.”
“One must not live one's life through men but must be complete on oneself as a woman of substance.”
“The plans to lose weight and change personality kept me aloft for two days, only to collapse around my ears. I realise it was only a complicated form of denial.”
“Decided to have a cappuccino and chocolate croissants on way to work to cheer self up. Do not care about figure. Is no point as no one loves or cares about me.”
“Exes should never, never go out with or marry other people but should remain celibate to the end of their days in order to provide you with a mental fallback position.“
“Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum... Hi.”
“I like you very much. Just as you are.”
Do you have a favourite quote from this legendary series? Leave a comment and let me know!
You can buy a copy of Bridget Jones’s Diary here.